So this is day 58. It was 58 days ago I decided to start documenting my shelter-in-place life. My goal for this was to distract myself. In the beginning I was really freaked out. March 1st I had not been redeployed with the Bernie Sanders campaign and was driving home from a wonderful victory in Las Vegas but I was getting sick. By the time I got home I was super sick and the information about Coronavirus was starting to come in, late because Trump and the people in the White House did nothing in February.
Because It was still new, we were being told if we felt sick to stay at home but there was no shelter-in-place order yet. I didn’t go outside, not even to the store. Matt was in Washington and I was so sick and for so long. I contacted my Doctor via email and he said to stay at home and go to the ER if I felt like I couldn’t breath. I was never tested but I got better. It took the entire month of March, and Matt came home but people were dying.
Bernie Sanders dropped out of the race and so on April 14th Matt lost his job. The way I made money last year was through art shows which are not happening right now, so I don’t have a job either. I was on Matt’s health insurance. The campaign decided to help with COBRA and offer people money to continue their insurance until November, which is great, but in order to keep a spouse on the insurance it is an extra $800 a month. Neither of us are working so we can’t pay $800 a month so I am now uninsured and Matt has insurance. Having your partner uninsured during a pandemic is hard, and being the partner is also hard. It means I REALLY can’t go outside and I can’t be as klutzy as I usually am. I can go on the exchange but that is $400 for me and has a $7,000 deductible. Again $400 with neither of us working and if I get sick it’s $7000 before coverage starts. Matt applied for unemployment but because of some paperwork issues we have not gotten anything and may never receive anything. Matt and I are incredibly privileged to have had a small savings which has helped us so we are ok for the next couple of weeks.
I began this diary because the story above makes me incredibly anxious. I found myself comforted by the mundane in peoples’ Instagram pics of food and Facebook pics of peoples’ babies. I only talked about those mundane details so for 30 minutes a night I could focus on the boring but good things in my life. This is a coronavirus post because I can’t anymore.
I can’t with the unbelievable selfishness of the people in the United States right now. I can’t with the greed of the government of the United States right now. Examples of the selfishness, greed, racism, ignorance, and so on would make this so much longer than it already is and if anyone looked at FB for more that 2 minutes you would see them. So I will say this, Capitalism does not work. We need healthcare for every person, Unions for every workplace, education for everybody, strong regulations to protect our environment, police accountability, prison reform, abolish ICE, people over profit, and so much more. I understand that simply making a post does not make this happen. i know that focusing on the mundane ignores the grotesque atrocities happening in the world. I am still going to post the mundane but will also talk about injustice and what we can do because there is power when people do things together.
I will begin with something easy, something we can all do together, something done because we care about one another, wear your mask.
And now the mundane…
I have a doodle book called Moodles, Stress. It gives you prompts to help name your feelings. I picked a random page out of it today and did the prompt it was draw only with blue.